I was posting on Bluesky today and said “I’ve done all the things I ever wanted to do in games,” which is something I’ve said in a handful of conversations recently, but maybe not so publicly or visibly, and I decided to dive into what that meant to me.
That “I’ve done all the things I ever wanted to do in games” thing has been weird in my current job search. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t know where I see myself in 5 or 10 years. I’ve done all the things, I’ve gotten all the cheevos, and I’m still playing the game because I enjoy it.
(Also because I need to pay the bills.)
When I was starting out, I’d have said I wanted to level up to being a senior engineer owning some systems, maybe someday become a manager, and maybe if the stars aligned make my own games someday. I did all that before I was 30 years old!
I came back from the solo indie thing, worrying I was stagnating, to challenge myself to do multiplayer code and console porting on The Blackout Club, and I nailed that.
I’d been hesitant to return to management after my first experience, but I stepped up, led the engineering team on The Killing Stone, and guided us to a smooth landing.
At this point, I’m not worried about stagnating, because… I’ve done everything. It’s just a matter of what I focus on next.
And really, in the current industry, that’s a matter of who can/will pay me. If I can get funding to make Eldritch 2, then obviously I’ll do that. If I can get a job as a director at a AAA studio, then obviously I’ll do that. But I can take a senior engineer job and it pays the bills, I’ll do that.
A decade ago, in my last job search, I kept asking for more time to make a decision, and the recruiter at 2K (who had previously hired me for 2K Marin) told me frankly that engineers had all the power in negotiations. That ain’t the case in 2026.
Someone of my caliber could’ve walked into any job a decade ago. I mean, I literally had my pick of four offers when I joined Question, and I dragged out negotiations with the other three places so that I could wait for Question’s offer.
That ain’t the case in 2026.
(The other three were Double Fine, Hangar 13/2K, and Gearbox. I was also in the middle of interviewing with Arkane, but they were in the middle of shipping Prey, so it was going slow. But at least I got an intro call and a programming test there! Can’t even get that far at most places now.)
There have been a handful of jobs I’ve applied to this time around that I REALLY wanted, and they’ve all either rejected me outright, declined to continue past the intro call, or withdrawn the position for other reasons (womp womp Otherside).
I just want to make video games, and also pay the bills.